Seriously, that's a lot of sex for such a small area!
- Baking Goat
- Jun 16, 2020
- 4 min read
Only a few days to go till we have the shortest day of the year and then that’s it, it will be Xmas before we know it! I know that sounds a bit pessimistic but it’s true what they say about the older you get the quicker time passes and as much as we have had the last few months to slow down and take stock, personally, I’ve been really busy with ‘stuff’. You know ‘stuff’. The jobs and bits and bobs you’ve been promising to tackle for ages (years) and they’ve been stuck on your to-do list. Quite a few of these I have tackled but I have also taken some time to sit back and enjoy my surroundings.
One place I really like to sit is by the pond. I built the pond about 5 years ago. When we first moved in, the previous owners had a trampoline in the garden with a huge hole underneath it. We don’t like trampolines, but we do like ponds, so we removed the trampoline and I started digging. And I dug and I dug and then I changed direction and dug some more. Then I decided I wanted a stream with a waterfall, so I dug some more. At some point I stopped digging and five years later we have a beautiful pond……full of sex!
Yep, it’s a breeding ground for everything. Oh, it’s very therapeutic, sitting by the pond watching all the wildlife but bloody hell, there’s no end to it! Everywhere you look there are positions being attempted that would make you wince. I can feel my hip aching just watching them. The damson flies are the most impressive, they’re very bendy, literally bent double. And they manage to keep this position whilst still flying! I’ve never boasted about my multi-tasking abilities, probably because I don’t have any, so the idea of getting my jollies whilst trying to navigate a controlled landing on a lily pad, is frankly, quite overwhelming.
Last week, I felt very sorry for Mrs Pigeon who was minding her own business, having a well deserved cooling drink from the stream, when Mr Pigeon saw her bent over with her tail in the air and decided it was too good an opportunity to pass. Poor girl didn’t see him coming!
Then there’s the frogs. What a racket! Pretty much from Spring till Autumn, we have a chorus of croaking that suggests an orgy is imminent.
I actually had a pair of flies land on my arm yesterday that were doing the reverse cowgirl. It’s a sad day when I’m looking at shagging flies, wishing I was 30 years younger!
Anyway, when not contemplating the sex life of the crested newt, I’m now back to baking on a weekly basis for my in-laws. Every Sunday, they get a sweet treat that, depending on the home-help that visits three times a day, may last them to Tuesday but more often than not, gets demolished by Sunday evening. Last week I attempted to add rum-soaked raisins to the condensed milk cake I mentioned a few weeks ago but it didn’t work. Oh yeah, I do use my in-laws as guinea pigs for trying new cakes. So, I shall persevere and try changing the recipe.
I’m currently (whilst listening to the new Boomtown Rats album, which is very good) thinking of the cake I shall make for Father’s Day. My father-in-law loves flowers so I can get away with making him something overly floral. I’ll let you know how it comes out.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve a made a couple of cakes from one tray bake which I find is one of the most versatile of sponges because it can be decorated in so many different ways. It freezes very well, so you can take it out when you have an unexpected visitor and just throw some fruit and cream on top for a quick flan or if you have some more time, you can go a bit more elaborate. Either way, at this time of year it’s ideal for using summer fruits. I find that with one tray bake, I use half for one day and freeze the other half. You’ll find the recipe below.
I also found myself recently with leftover egg whites so whipped up some meringue nests. I’m always getting asked about meringues and how difficult people find them and to be honest, I’m not sure why. I suspect it’s more to do with the baking of them rather than the whipping. And looking online, there does seem to be a lot of conflicting recipes concerning the oven temperature and the duration. As with all baking, you need to know your oven well. They are all different and can vary by a degree or two so it’s easy to burn your meringues if it’s too hot so I would always recommend you err on the side of caution and keep your oven slightly lower and bake for longer if necessary. Also, you need to let them cool down slowly or they will crack with the sudden temperature drop so ideally, keep them in the oven when you’ve switched it off and open the door slightly, leaving them for an hour if possible.
Before I go…..Jeremy the iron has settled in very nicely and living up to expectations and the peacocks haven’t been seen for a while, I think their owner found out they’d been absconding.
See ya x
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